I decided to follow my toolkit “Dealing With Mood Stability vs Instability”
With all the stress it is NOT feasible to move & start over. Although small
& essentially one room living it is well decorated with my art, art I
really like such as Bob art & Walk in w downsizing holds food pantry,
supplies & storage along w 2 ottomans. I cannot afford to stress my family
especially You or myself anymore with what none of us can fix or control (Covid
now into 6th day for last 3 cases & 9th day for first round.
My toolkit says following & I need your help to reinforce the
steps to sustaining positive with obvious challenges:
“We didn’t develop our negative self-talk overnight....
Negative self-talk can become more intense under stress. Also much
more intense when we are trying to make changes...” I am trying-“This is a very
common experience! It is good to accept this condition & keep going.”
Right now I will keep going to find the positives where I live
now. I do not care for Bingo & Farkle but can keep doing these activities
to meet a buddy for dining & shopping later. What to do about my big drop
in finances & nest egg? I need know balance of my nest egg however low as
better than not knowing. Never mind why you chose this place as that’s done
& I trusted you.
Trust me now & give me full picture of my nest egg plus PAY
YOURSELVES BACK! Stacy cashed $100 check plus Sadie’s $40 Bday check I
completely forgot about because that was several weeks ago. Please please add
up all I owe you & transfer that to your checking acct & pay your own
bills as that will give me BIG stress relief as until now & for good 25
years I have managed to stay debt free thru totaled car, a number of costly
moves & helping You & Bob with start over in Wellington. I love to see
You in such a nice home just right for the two of you plus helped Travis &
Jordan with post grad classes & Grand Jeep Cherokee for $6000 & still
saved $. I am so disappointed I missed my vacation but so did lots of people.
Please just hang there while I try again to overcome stressors of
Covid plus recent recovery from severe BP. I had my first flashback/nightmare
last night so it is about my indomitable will over unreality
No one can live that for me
It’s sheer hell Just try understand it’s too new, may seem safe to
you but all arrive at my door wear masks. It’s hard & trying.
Next part moving from “Problems Orientation” to a “Strengths
Orientation” by recognizing my strengths which solidly helped me thru last 25
years including trusting & relying on You & my family network. I am now
in a fragile time/place for relapse-I can deal with bills & cannot afford
relapse for how much it shatters me & leaves me putting my life together
piece by piece & that takes time. It took two years first time. With moving
even as an expected positive result-it will take time.
I am tired if not worn out from this relapse & not much for
thinking how I will put my life back together again-the reality is too
overwhelming & no doctor for 15 mins-50 mins every 2 weeks can do much more
than meds & what I miss is CBT techniques what’s current which is why I
feel at odds with Dr Chauhan. No current CBT to use as protection from PTSD
& I melt away. Meds fine for now
I am double stressed w move & probably need more than 1/2
ginger ale or Diet Dr Pepper which my only pro of day
I got my chicken breast sandwich & plan no more phone calls. I
do NOT like having you do CVS pickup or TThumb pick up go. I will work on other
ways for that-CVS app & $5 month care pass plus if Walmart or Target
delivers groceries after this Covid whatever in place done I will have them
deliver My main goal is to give myself choice & relieve you of chores like
I’m some old gizzer stuck in the old gizzer’s warehouse. Positive is about
having choices that include me.
No topic for text or call is your husband who definitely needs your
help & support
I am setting up CVS to deliver here & think Walmart can after
8-7. Reimburse yourselves what I owe you & promised like credit cards,
carport & dental bills. I will get my own cell plan when I can so please
reimburse yourselves $70 month times X 5=$320 which keeps me on plan until end
August. If you want car, we need transfer title etc by mid or 3rd week August.
With DPOA really why do you need me. As to DPOA-my mistake- I’d appreciate you
telling me before you act on my behalf. I do want to void it-I’ve been working
since 2015 to arrange assets inheritable to hit brick wall. Also as to Bob my
business is my private area. I honestly do not feel he wants be involved except
to limit contact we have. I do not need see accts or paper copies. I trust
whatever you say-just need total & final balance on my nest egg &
estimate when it is restored to my own savings. I recall only my name is on
savings & checking still have same accts in my name only.
I appreciate & thank you for what you’ve done for me. Your
efforts were genuine & you meant a better situation for me. I personally
feel trapped here especially to monthly amount I cannot afford & still live
comfortably in other areas of my life like saving little at least & $ gifts
to family. I feel empathy for all in my situation. There are so many snafus
& address missteps,
I do not even know what I do for address change for car insurance
& whether I am still liable for Stoneleigh liability insurance. People like
me need stability & organized way to logical transition. This has been
haphazard & mostly I find out decisions or actions taken later or after
fact. There is NO logic to you doing CVS drive thru or other shopping without
card or funds to pay. I am puzzled as to why needed move so soon & not
allow my lease to run out since it was only 3 months. Whatever counsel you
received legally re lease I doubt there will be any negotiation which leaves me
walking a lease & not honoring a buy out-my option for keeping decent
credit rating gone. I personally feel with your business responsibilities
there’s no time for additional help from you.
I DETEST that my dumb ass brother hoovered Bob into rescuing HK.
I’d have gladly given you whatever my part was on sale of property &
machine assets to locate better work situation for each of you. Also his taking
cash had better count toward buyout of his share. He’s big cheat & abusive
of others.
I feel like I am in extended family hell & have no plans to
kiss his spoiled ass to regain place in his life. As to my angry texts, we have
had no family meetings or third party mediation to work out issues &
positions that do not find compromise. Texts frustrating ineffective way communicate.
This is truly a high risk relapse possibility for me & know
that was not your intent. I credit stress in your relatively new business &
Covid 19 inconsistencies plus my relapse as principal drivers for wrecked
results. I am not living in a safe place given I need financial balance &
no more patch work finances & never ending doctors appts to stop. I need a
break. A different more supportive familiar environment & no more
contentious interactions. I feel marginalized & intimated. NO ONE HAS ASKED
WHAT WILL HELP ME TO ME. We need a break. Let’s just use Covid guide lines
& reconnect 8-7 or if need Thursday 8-13
No comments:
Post a Comment