MY BIPOLAR MOTHER

I am the daughter of a bipolar mother. My experiences with my mother, family, and friends teach me everyone's reality is different and perception is the friend or the foe of the day. I am hoping my posts give insight to those who are curious and give comfort to those who see a parallel. I invite feedback and look forward to collaboration. It is my focus to spread joy, even on dark days. Smiles can be effortless or the workout of the day. Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

bipolar person venting over Covid 19,




so, the day starts off with these three little text messages along with a slew of pictures of her food.


When about will my nest egg be restored? I agree completely & fully support my in-patient stays at Baylor Scott & White and services from Garland Behavioral Health. I require a second professional opinion & wonder why the abrupt placement in a glorified retirement home? Of course they cannot promote WF as a Care home cause I quote staff member-no nurses work here or a dietitian See cell pic of 7 th day & counting for either fried entree or pasta dish. I am better off in a small apartment community w walk in shower,
ability to purchase my own healthy groceries & drive thru at CVS. For years now I have managed my financial business, been active in tax and financial changes like 2018
Why now are you compelling me to go through you? Again I am NOT 90 or 80 year old female family member. I deserve to choose WHERE I live, HOW I live & manage my own business. Somewhere along way you seem pick & choose what is then forced situation for me. I also do NOT agree about contacting ANY of my doctors without asking me first. What is point therapy when I’m stuck in a human warehouse for principally Mothers-Return my nest egg money now. I have neither mismanaged or misspent any of my money savings or banking or credit. In fact my Visa credit balance is zero. To make it clear why don’t You & Bob seek your own therapy from Chauhan. I’ve been taking care of my therapy/counseling for years without you’re involvement or hands on picking doctors. I quit Chauhan as of today & want no more micromanaging of my life. If you require safe place to live you come here & live. I am done with it will improve cause it’s mediocre services good as it will ever be-it’s like a Club Med incarceration for mostly women. I want out of here-I will add please plus why confuse me with 80 & 90 women in our family-once again I am 71 just now, deserve to live like what I sadly gave up trusting you. Also NO MORE “GRUFF” reality Bob. If you’re “recovery team” my life is sadly reduced to being TV ad “A Place for Mom” Why? Why did you back out if finishing SL because my inclination is to move 411 & start over after  minimum of $10000 spent getting to a human warehouse. Please do not tell me to embrace Bingo & Farkle SS ALL left of my choices for living. It does NOT fit me & Carl & Bob probably fueled by alcohol can imagine their own future in a glorified Adult Day Care.

The woman who plays piano is my height & weighs 250-275 lbs Is that a healthy life?

She is nice tho her husband needs apparently to be here
He sits out on their wraparound balcony each morning Max their cat must be a great support cat & funny He weighs 18 lbs This place as I was told today when trying figure out if go down myself to mark off shuttle ride “Cannot keep us from doing whatever but you’re supposed to stay in your rooms.” So maybe one too many calls yet no paper on door stating what guidelines are tho posted set in elevator & board downstairs telling us to stay in our rooms. We’re not supposed go out yet can’t stop....? Some women here have early stage dementia. How are they supposed to understand a phone call as they are also hard of hearing. Please understand you do not live day to day With contradictions & miscommunications & only one  with Director’s name on it- rather vague. 6 cases but no specific guidelines. Do agree I am smart above average with a grad school education & even I am confused. I saved solicitation to be tested for Covid 19 by a third party lab that will bill our insurance. That seems iffy as know symptoms. Someone w lesser duties given all in rooms only see meal delivery people & once week cleaner-one person OK for my small place but asking a lot for bigger & biggest places. I take compassion, clean my own place except floors & kitchen sink area. I clean toilet while my Lysol 99.99 sanitizer still supply. I do a lot for myself & doubt 90s Retirement TV by way Direct TV plus same old big band 40s music which guess think all we “OLD” Gizzers want for music-do you know this kind of mediocrity is doing me more disservice than....what next will you tell me? Be thankful I’m not forced to live at worse place? That’s like telling children to eat ALL less than meal cause children starving somewhere. This place for me is a COLOSSAL snafu-that’s my reality.

Why is someone w lite duty now not checking temps once day floor by floor? Cause they operate on a shoe string, owner gets most profit b4 even pay employees most part time NO Benefits less 39 hours week probably 20-30 hrs. I’d ask I should I risk myself... which probably explains decline in food menu-new cooks. Like cafeteria cooks only work during meal prep times & same ones deliver.
Did you ask ANY questions about staffing, written procedures for Covid 19 & asked to see copy cause that was Gina’s counsel AFTER all done move here. Bravo! 6 cases Covid & we can ALL do what want per Front Desk

So now I am truly marginalized

It’s early voting & no way vote?


I sent my mother a response asking her why she thinks that we don't have her best interest in mind.  I do everything for her..




I forgive your decisions on my behalf that I know you meant to help & benefit me. I did not pick WF as my place to live & did not really have a pick in counseling. I appreciate all your support through all years you’ve help me navigate BP.
I find myself confused now. Does a challenging Mental Health & neurological disorder warrant placement in this place that is not working for me. I believed what was told to you & what was said to me. I feel strongly this place is more detrimental than beneficial.
It’s down day as you & Bob put a lot into this place & so did I.
This is not a home just a hotel day after day...
Please do not put so much on yourself for this mismatch.
If I have to live here it will be sad one for me. It’s not about your wonderful support over years & now. It’s about me ending up in Adult Care not much choices for what just few months ago I enjoyed-my diverse area , true HDTV, missing all my music -step down for same price. Now I will be challenged to find nice place again plus I feel defeated to enjoy what once had & cringe paying $1850 month this next 11 months & then $1950 for tiny room-Front Desk is right-no real interest in art here. My art table solely for puzzles now. My W D not my own like university-also same issues as w commercial laundry. No regrets for furniture & other items including the car as I truly did not drive much-just seems went from life w choices & especially art-All interest here is on card games, dominoes & bingo. I wished I’d moved to place of my choice but time ran out mid-March. I am not a Texas fan with Austin in my past-not many Texas cities like it & definitely not Dallas area.
I know ALL places have their minuses-I want what no longer possible-walkability in small town in climate that is not so brutally hot a lot of time. Then how fair is that to more desirable places absorbing people like me moving into their nice town. It’s not a favorable time to make stellar move so I get Adult 24/7 Day Care or “After School” Care. I did put you there so guess it’s my turn for Camp Crappy. My perception of DPOA applies/applied if I am incapacitated in all ways.

It’s not on You that choices recently made w home etc not good fit for me.
I love Care & Treasure You & Love & that is what will not change in my life. The World Around no matter our age women don’t find themselves in best places

Just please return my nest egg when you can do it safely
One fact makes me like my Dad is I care more for You than if I ever get $ back
I do love You💚I just am confused why I ended up here?
Also Dr Counselor just wants point by point of my past & no reference or recognition of what’s happening now. I already used GBH toolkits & journal to cover past & requiring my Affirmations journal to cover now
A lot positive I have credited to You

I am receiving great credit news-BB&B will credit my account with $299.81 for duvet set no longer available & WTech will credit my Visa Acct in 3-5 Business days for $49.80 That’s total $250 credit back✅👍

Sorry-$350 Credit back to my Visa Acct since I canNot afford $1850 month here


I apologize to you for going along with $1850 month obligation that my monthly income canNOT cover with scrips Drs co-pays OTC med supplies let alone extra grocery costs, saving each month & giving $ gifts to my family. I wasted $1561 plus $1850 month until....and still need pay whatever coming in from GBH & SL A costly life lesson just starting my 70s Up side is I was not scammed & got something for my $- place is well appointed tiny place & do get 3 meals day delivered whatever quality-some days good some less than-fact pay for overhead for common areas of which off limits for now not much compensation

Plus it’s just cramped from 1100 sq ft 2 pantries plus storage plus my own laundry room to share all like old fashioned dorm. It’s big come down in quality of life for a lot $































































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