more texting from my mother, I feel marginalized & intimated

I decided to follow my toolkit “Dealing With Mood Stability vs Instability” With all the stress it is NOT feasible to move & start over. Although small & essentially one room living it is well decorated with my art, art I really like such as Bob art & Walk in w downsizing holds food pantry, supplies & storage along w 2 ottomans. I cannot afford to stress my family especially You or myself anymore with what none of us can fix or control (Covid now into 6th day for last 3 cases & 9th day for first round.

My toolkit says following & I need your help to reinforce the steps to sustaining positive with obvious challenges:

“We didn’t develop our negative self-talk overnight....

Negative self-talk can become more intense under stress. Also much more intense when we are trying to make changes...” I am trying-“This is a very common experience! It is good to accept this condition & keep going.”

Right now I will keep going to find the positives where I live now. I do not care for Bingo & Farkle but can keep doing these activities to meet a buddy for dining & shopping later. What to do about my big drop in finances & nest egg? I need know balance of my nest egg however low as better than not knowing. Never mind why you chose this place as that’s done & I trusted you.

Trust me now & give me full picture of my nest egg plus PAY YOURSELVES BACK! Stacy cashed $100 check plus Sadie’s $40 Bday check I completely forgot about because that was several weeks ago. Please please add up all I owe you & transfer that to your checking acct & pay your own bills as that will give me BIG stress relief as until now & for good 25 years I have managed to stay debt free thru totaled car, a number of costly moves & helping You & Bob with start over in Wellington. I love to see You in such a nice home just right for the two of you plus helped Travis & Jordan with post grad classes & Grand Jeep Cherokee for $6000 & still saved $. I am so disappointed I missed my vacation but so did lots of people.

Please just hang there while I try again to overcome stressors of Covid plus recent recovery from severe BP. I had my first flashback/nightmare last night so it is about my indomitable will over unreality

No one can live that for me

It’s sheer hell Just try understand it’s too new, may seem safe to you but all arrive at my door wear masks. It’s hard & trying.

Next part moving from “Problems Orientation” to a “Strengths Orientation” by recognizing my strengths which solidly helped me thru last 25 years including trusting & relying on You & my family network. I am now in a fragile time/place for relapse-I can deal with bills & cannot afford relapse for how much it shatters me & leaves me putting my life together piece by piece & that takes time. It took two years first time. With moving even as an expected positive result-it will take time.

I am tired if not worn out from this relapse & not much for thinking how I will put my life back together again-the reality is too overwhelming & no doctor for 15 mins-50 mins every 2 weeks can do much more than meds & what I miss is CBT techniques what’s current which is why I feel at odds with Dr Chauhan. No current CBT to use as protection from PTSD & I melt away. Meds fine for now

I am double stressed w move & probably need more than 1/2 ginger ale or Diet Dr Pepper which my only pro of day

I got my chicken breast sandwich & plan no more phone calls. I do NOT like having you do CVS pickup or TThumb pick up go. I will work on other ways for that-CVS app & $5 month care pass plus if Walmart or Target delivers groceries after this Covid whatever in place done I will have them deliver My main goal is to give myself choice & relieve you of chores like I’m some old gizzer stuck in the old gizzer’s warehouse. Positive is about having choices that include me.

No topic for text or call is your husband who definitely needs your help & support

I am setting up CVS to deliver here & think Walmart can after 8-7. Reimburse yourselves what I owe you & promised like credit cards, carport & dental bills. I will get my own cell plan when I can so please reimburse yourselves $70 month times X 5=$320 which keeps me on plan until end August. If you want car, we need transfer title etc by mid or 3rd week August. With DPOA really why do you need me. As to DPOA-my mistake- I’d appreciate you telling me before you act on my behalf. I do want to void it-I’ve been working since 2015 to arrange assets inheritable to hit brick wall. Also as to Bob my business is my private area. I honestly do not feel he wants be involved except to limit contact we have. I do not need see accts or paper copies. I trust whatever you say-just need total & final balance on my nest egg & estimate when it is restored to my own savings. I recall only my name is on savings & checking still have same  accts in my name only.

I appreciate & thank you for what you’ve done for me. Your efforts were genuine & you meant a better situation for me. I personally feel trapped here especially to monthly amount I cannot afford & still live comfortably in other areas of my life like saving little at least & $ gifts to family. I feel empathy for all in my situation. There are so many snafus & address missteps,

I do not even know what I do for address change for car insurance & whether I am still liable for Stoneleigh liability insurance. People like me need stability & organized way to logical transition. This has been haphazard & mostly I find out decisions or actions taken later or after fact. There is NO logic to you doing CVS drive thru or other shopping without card or funds to pay. I am puzzled as to why needed move so soon & not allow my lease to run out since it was only 3 months. Whatever counsel you received legally re lease I doubt there will be any negotiation which leaves me walking a lease & not honoring a buy out-my option for keeping decent credit rating gone. I personally feel with your business responsibilities there’s no time for additional help from you.

I DETEST that my dumb ass brother hoovered Bob into rescuing HK. I’d have gladly given you whatever my part was on sale of property & machine assets to locate better work situation for each of you. Also his taking cash had better count toward buyout of his share. He’s big cheat & abusive of others.

I feel like I am in extended family hell & have no plans to kiss his spoiled ass to regain place in his life. As to my angry texts, we have had no family meetings or third party mediation to work out issues & positions that do not find compromise. Texts frustrating ineffective way communicate.

This is truly a high risk relapse possibility for me & know that was not your intent. I credit stress in your relatively new business & Covid 19 inconsistencies plus my relapse as principal drivers for wrecked results. I am not living in a safe place given I need financial balance & no more patch work finances & never ending doctors appts to stop. I need a break. A different more supportive familiar environment & no more contentious interactions. I feel marginalized & intimated. NO ONE HAS ASKED WHAT WILL HELP ME TO ME. We need a break. Let’s just use Covid guide lines & reconnect 8-7 or if need Thursday 8-13

another day of complaining

I checked my Wells Fargo Accts On plus side I have over $6000 in savings & my Retirement Account is holding above $77000 after losses for Covid took down from $90000

I need my nest egg restored to my savings plus for you to-this is tiring to ask like you what want me to owe you for all you’ve been out unless you paid out of that account-repay yourselves NOW b4 GBH & SL bill me. Plus I see NO advantages to you taking my large nest egg away as I have NEVER misused or put myself in financial deficit since 1990.

That is 30 YEARS of managing my own $. Who misadvised you & persuaded you to abruptly move to an inadequate place like this. Do you confuse me with your 97 year old grandmother & the fact that a man I DO NOT EVEN KNOW ILL ADVISED YOU? He needs to focus on his life solely & not pontificate on what is best for people he does NOT know except through opinion of others. I WANT OUT OF HERE AS SOON AS IS FEASIBLE WHEN THIS STAY IN PLACE IS UP-OF COURSE BY THEN WHERE DO I MOVE AS DOORS SLAMMED SHUT & FURNITURE ETC GIVEN AWAY.

The decisions made have cost me at least $20000 by the time this fiasco is done.

I am absolutely OK about moving distance away & expect no help. It appears I need learn use Uber whatever or Lyft find new place-that means new doctors transfer to new bank etc This is a logistical nightmare-Please accept I will not stay here more than time get out Covid hell, find new place & move. I need first floor & May buy small car maybe just another Yaris type car plus washer dryer sofa w accessories There’s move # 3 place advantage-new furniture but where. PLEASE ACCEPT I WILL NOT STAY HERE AT ALL-

DO YOU WANT ME TO EAT TOUGH GRILLED CHECKEN BREAST, SALTY TURKEY PATTY or OVERSEASONED CHEAP FISH OVER & OVER & OVER AGAIN TO AVOID HEART BURN FRIED FOODS LIKE FRIED CHICKEN CHEAP FRIED  STEAK VARIOUS KINDS FRIED FISH BBQ SAUAGE & PIZZA-TODAYS MENU. I am done I will NOT lose my health improvements for this shyster place that did NOT tell you whole story less than shuttle less than meals & absolute claustrophobic tiny room cause they had to have idea about inability to clean & prevent 6 Covid cases

What is balance in my nest egg what’s left of it?

I threw away the tough over seasoned chicken breast-that was it & expect more same tomorrow. This not menu style restaurant It’s limited eat this or...I checked vegetable options no cottage cheese etc But either or....NOT flexibility

I’m done If more same tonight & tomorrow I have 9 days frozen entrees then I will leave here & NOT look back my life in tatters & down by God knows in what formally 99K nest egg when it all...about to save $1000 toward nest egg $100K

I have quickly dwindling finances & NO PLACE TO LIVE

WHY?

My window coverings black out not useable & red light HGTV I had bedroom NO lights or noise. This place is a glorified middle road hotel ROOM WHY?

No HGTV OR RANGE NETWORKS OR PROPER WIFI

WHY? I trusted BS told to me & that’s what got-total BS & shoves here again TOO fast & broke damn lease in place nice

Excuse me-are You aware that “neighbors” do not just move away-they die-which how I got shoved in here!

Mary got great deal vs me & she only pays $158 month

I pay $1850 for CaCa food CaCa TV CaCa WiFi CACA shuttle only available at odd times because they will not pay for full time driver. What from now on until I am out of here thus place is the CaCa in Mesquite Please do NOT compare this to Grandmama’s place-they are all a rip off & IF you’re lucky I will expire from this family experiment. I PROMISE YOU DO NOT WANT LIVE LIKE THIS & NOTHING TOLD TO YOU IS ACCURATE AS MOST OF RESIDENTS CHARGED FOR UNUSED REPUTED ROOMS FOR WHAT?

ALSO THE “OUTINGS” JUST LIKE CAMP CRAPPY!

Again glorified Family Day Care BECAUSE NO ONE COMES AROUND AT NIGHT!!!!

bipolar person venting over Covid 19,

so, the day starts off with these three little text messages along with a slew of pictures of her food.

When about will my nest egg be restored? I agree completely & fully support my in-patient stays at Baylor Scott & White and services from Garland Behavioral Health. I require a second professional opinion & wonder why the abrupt placement in a glorified retirement home? Of course they cannot promote WF as a Care home cause I quote staff member-no nurses work here or a dietitian See cell pic of 7 th day & counting for either fried entree or pasta dish. I am better off in a small apartment community w walk in shower,

ability to purchase my own healthy groceries & drive thru at CVS. For years now I have managed my financial business, been active in tax and financial changes like 2018

Why now are you compelling me to go through you? Again I am NOT 90 or 80 year old female family member. I deserve to choose WHERE I live, HOW I live & manage my own business. Somewhere along way you seem pick & choose what is then forced situation for me. I also do NOT agree about contacting ANY of my doctors without asking me first. What is point therapy when I’m stuck in a human warehouse for principally Mothers-Return my nest egg money now. I have neither mismanaged or misspent any of my money savings or banking or credit. In fact my Visa credit balance is zero. To make it clear why don’t You & Bob seek your own therapy from Chauhan. I’ve been taking care of my therapy/counseling for years without you’re involvement or hands on picking doctors. I quit Chauhan as of today & want no more micromanaging of my life. If you require safe place to live you come here & live. I am done with it will improve cause it’s mediocre services good as it will ever be-it’s like a Club Med incarceration for mostly women. I want out of here-I will add please plus why confuse me with 80 & 90 women in our family-once again I am 71 just now, deserve to live like what I sadly gave up trusting you. Also NO MORE “GRUFF” reality Bob. If you’re “recovery team” my life is sadly reduced to being TV ad “A Place for Mom” Why? Why did you back out if finishing SL because my inclination is to move 411 & start over after  minimum of $10000 spent getting to a human warehouse. Please do not tell me to embrace Bingo & Farkle SS ALL left of my choices for living. It does NOT fit me & Carl & Bob probably fueled by alcohol can imagine their own future in a glorified Adult Day Care.

The woman who plays piano is my height & weighs 250-275 lbs Is that a healthy life?

She is nice tho her husband needs apparently to be here

He sits out on their wraparound balcony each morning Max their cat must be a great support cat & funny He weighs 18 lbs This place as I was told today when trying figure out if go down myself to mark off shuttle ride “Cannot keep us from doing whatever but you’re supposed to stay in your rooms.” So maybe one too many calls yet no paper on door stating what guidelines are tho posted set in elevator & board downstairs telling us to stay in our rooms. We’re not supposed go out yet can’t stop....? Some women here have early stage dementia. How are they supposed to understand a phone call as they are also hard of hearing. Please understand you do not live day to day With contradictions & miscommunications & only one  with Director’s name on it- rather vague. 6 cases but no specific guidelines. Do agree I am smart above average with a grad school education & even I am confused. I saved solicitation to be tested for Covid 19 by a third party lab that will bill our insurance. That seems iffy as know symptoms. Someone w lesser duties given all in rooms only see meal delivery people & once week cleaner-one person OK for my small place but asking a lot for bigger & biggest places. I take compassion, clean my own place except floors & kitchen sink area. I clean toilet while my Lysol 99.99 sanitizer still supply. I do a lot for myself & doubt 90s Retirement TV by way Direct TV plus same old big band 40s music which guess think all we “OLD” Gizzers want for music-do you know this kind of mediocrity is doing me more disservice than....what next will you tell me? Be thankful I’m not forced to live at worse place? That’s like telling children to eat ALL less than meal cause children starving somewhere. This place for me is a COLOSSAL snafu-that’s my reality.

Why is someone w lite duty now not checking temps once day floor by floor? Cause they operate on a shoe string, owner gets most profit b4 even pay employees most part time NO Benefits less 39 hours week probably 20-30 hrs. I’d ask I should I risk myself... which probably explains decline in food menu-new cooks. Like cafeteria cooks only work during meal prep times & same ones deliver.

Did you ask ANY questions about staffing, written procedures for Covid 19 & asked to see copy cause that was Gina’s counsel AFTER all done move here. Bravo! 6 cases Covid & we can ALL do what want per Front Desk

So now I am truly marginalized

It’s early voting & no way vote?

I sent my mother a response asking her why she thinks that we don't have her best interest in mind.  I do everything for her..

I forgive your decisions on my behalf that I know you meant to help & benefit me. I did not pick WF as my place to live & did not really have a pick in counseling. I appreciate all your support through all years you’ve help me navigate BP.

I find myself confused now. Does a challenging Mental Health & neurological disorder warrant placement in this place that is not working for me. I believed what was told to you & what was said to me. I feel strongly this place is more detrimental than beneficial.

It’s down day as you & Bob put a lot into this place & so did I.

This is not a home just a hotel day after day...

Please do not put so much on yourself for this mismatch.

If I have to live here it will be sad one for me. It’s not about your wonderful support over years & now. It’s about me ending up in Adult Care not much choices for what just few months ago I enjoyed-my diverse area , true HDTV, missing all my music -step down for same price. Now I will be challenged to find nice place again plus I feel defeated to enjoy what once had & cringe paying $1850 month this next 11 months & then $1950 for tiny room-Front Desk is right-no real interest in art here. My art table solely for puzzles now. My W D not my own like university-also same issues as w commercial laundry. No regrets for furniture & other items including the car as I truly did not drive much-just seems went from life w choices & especially art-All interest here is on card games, dominoes & bingo. I wished I’d moved to place of my choice but time ran out mid-March. I am not a Texas fan with Austin in my past-not many Texas cities like it & definitely not Dallas area.

I know ALL places have their minuses-I want what no longer possible-walkability in small town in climate that is not so brutally hot a lot of time. Then how fair is that to more desirable places absorbing people like me moving into their nice town. It’s not a favorable time to make stellar move so I get Adult 24/7 Day Care or “After School” Care. I did put you there so guess it’s my turn for Camp Crappy. My perception of DPOA applies/applied if I am incapacitated in all ways.

It’s not on You that choices recently made w home etc not good fit for me.

I love Care & Treasure You & Love & that is what will not change in my life. The World Around no matter our age women don’t find themselves in best places

Just please return my nest egg when you can do it safely

One fact makes me like my Dad is I care more for You than if I ever get $ back

I do love You💚I just am confused why I ended up here?

Also Dr Counselor just wants point by point of my past & no reference or recognition of what’s happening now. I already used GBH toolkits & journal to cover past & requiring my Affirmations journal to cover now

A lot positive I have credited to You

I am receiving great credit news-BB&B will credit my account with $299.81 for duvet set no longer available & WTech will credit my Visa Acct in 3-5 Business days for $49.80 That’s total $250 credit back✅👍

Sorry-$350 Credit back to my Visa Acct since I canNot afford $1850 month here

I apologize to you for going along with $1850 month obligation that my monthly income canNOT cover with scrips Drs co-pays OTC med supplies let alone extra grocery costs, saving each month & giving $ gifts to my family. I wasted $1561 plus $1850 month until....and still need pay whatever coming in from GBH & SL A costly life lesson just starting my 70s Up side is I was not scammed & got something for my $- place is well appointed tiny place & do get 3 meals day delivered whatever quality-some days good some less than-fact pay for overhead for common areas of which off limits for now not much compensation

Plus it’s just cramped from 1100 sq ft 2 pantries plus storage plus my own laundry room to share all like old fashioned dorm. It’s big come down in quality of life for a lot $

angry text messages, pissed off mother,

After weekend of looking at my finances & working around fried fatty food w high salt & carbs w limited success, I first want my nest egg restored to my savings & your name removed when feasible from any of my accounts given I live in hotel like building with 6 Covid cases. My Will & beneficiary designations protect you & assure you inherit. I no longer concern myself about tax impact as that was futile since you moved $96K without consulting HR Block or a tax attorney. Right now I owe zip on medical bills & my big debt is SL & no point revisiting that one with most of my furniture gone, my credit rating in jeopardy so I’ve decided to pay whatever they bill to keep my ability to lease elsewhere. I will be moving from here tho how w 6 Covid cases? I feel trapped and see few advantages to ever living here as food unhealthy per my doctors subsequently without ability to walk & stay active, weight gain after worked hard to decrease my health risks & weight have not been sustainable. I still do not understand why you moved so quickly to relocate me here. Was home care not working for you & they do NOT check on me. It’s a marketing farce-“A Place for Mom.” TV ad.

There is a Hawaii Newborn Blessing-“Your children are not your children. You cannot make them like you because life goes forward. They are the arrow that takes us all to the future.”

Ironically I reared You to be You & laugh when ready. I backed you in Taipei & other choices you made. Why no reciprocal gift to me?

If you feel or anyone has made you feel too involved with me & my well being, I release you.

If 6 cases Covid do not bother you, then I find no roadblocks to my assuming responsibility for what 92K or 90K & it was my mistake to ask you to assume the burden of making major decisions about my life when you do not know me all that well. Neurological disorder quite challenging has not stopped me from making it across 25-30 years & I regret to be such burden or project for you. Whether we heal this difference in what best for me I am not doing well here-I am going backwards again, isolated & feeling trapped in a poor match for a home for me. It’s time to join Elvis if all have look forward to is tiny room that is claustrophobic & demeaning. Bingo is not my plan for a vibrant future. We women are so devalued even women in our own family do not ask us what is best for us.

I am wasting health insurance $ seeing doctors that cannot improve the quality of my life. Do you know what it took out of me to give away my home furnishings just 19 months old & pack up day after day what little was left of my life & move to place where people more challenged than me? It’s best I can do to take care of myself. A more shyster business than owning & being “landlord” of apartments is to own in quotes thru decades nursing homes, assisted living homes to retirement homes to so called independent living-maybe for those couples & few men still have their own cars & can simply drive to CVS now has more scrips but will NOT take my Visa card # or deliver. I am done in by stupid catch 22s & cannot even find convoluted workarounds. Enjoy the car-that was my Bday car in 2018 and now....I am literally a foot note in a pathetic place mostly for women. I appreciate by Monday you telling me when my nest egg is in my account & your name off what I consider my private business which appears you have liberally shared with your husband- my retirement income, nest egg & Brokerage account is none of his business. I am removing his name from emergency contact list. I want to leave your name but I do not know your requirements & please no more gratuitous texts about choices-I have few at this time.

I AM NOT YOUR 97 YEAR OLD GRANDMOTHER RECEIVING HOME CARE FOR NUMBER OF YEARS OR YOUR GRANDMOTHER WHO DIED OF ALZHEIMER RELATED FLU AT 89. The old bitty Aunt in Little Women is still spot on today

Wealth is ALL protects older women from being herded off to a “retirement home” “ forgotten

Bob and I are a part of your recovery support team! We will continue to care very much about You💜 It’s very hurtful to read your texts.

I appreciate your saying you’re part of my recovery team. It was hurtful to me & Jennifer Metze made a good case for not making big changes like moving or being involved in such changes left me vulnerable & feeling few healthy options for me & too many setting me back-fried chicken fried fish cheeseburger w fries & tomorrow fried crab cakes

That leaves me selecting same baked chicken breast over salted, turkey patty too much salt & over seasoned fish. I have written “Please no salt or added salt” cause even veggies to much salt. My plan tomorrow is either frozen entree or Glucerna in defense of my efforts to eat healthy.

I am not going to text any gratuitous words so take care of yourself & try not to overwork yourself💚

I hope you understand I cannot move forward without financial resources. If the compromise here is home health services I agree. Please also understand at time you negotiated my “lease”? here month to month & arranged notice to vacate my home I found to be a home even with minuses like this place although no Covid cases especially 6, I definitely was not well enough & should have stayed in my former home to level. Although I will not ever understand why you went against the counsel of my mental health professionals, it’s not fixable to reset. I want out of here when it is open again & I will site 6 Covid cases as my grounds for leaving. The the total cost so far is $5,261 to WF for upfront fee & 60 days to bale out of here. Then to where cause I’m ruined at SL even paying whatever they request. Also it would be nice to focus on recovery vs moving again w 2 years-that’s third place. I do not mean anything negative toward Bob but he listens to people like Carl who’s Father is in his 80s or older & applies that to me someone much younger. I am still in shock & not gaining momentum due to this mismatch & lack consideration that I know what will be match for me. Bob went on & on when we toured here that “Carl said....” as IF GUY WHO DOES NOT EVEN KNOW ME GETS MORE INPUT THAN I DO. You have placed me at higher risk than SL only here few weeks.

Now I expect us -You & I only-to remedy this in next few months. I gave away most of my furniture & while people like Home Nurses both of them comment on decor they also asked how I ended up in such tiny place-I ask same. Can you not understand how demeaning it is that I cannot even buy healthy groceries. I can only make toast here by way-electrical cannot handle both big HDTV & my baking. It’s glorified warehouse for mostly women & not a match for me. I am not candidate for “A Place for Mom” like TV as.

If I regret any of my decisions relative to you over last few years it’s DPOA which I plan to void-thanks to rushed decisions this will probably end up costing me $15000 or $20000. For what? To keep SL from billing me $6500+? That decision was yours. What in long run did you save me from?

So far health providers covered medical bills. Who did you listen to here? The only losses so far ones you caused w SL then backed out representing me & now like Guy in Group because you furnished these letters NO ONE IS LIKELY TO LEASE TO ME! It is an ugly alarming label-biggest cluster F of my whole 30 years of balancing labels, diagnoses & trying to protect my privacy. Try living & finding new place with that as in public record

Where did my kind protective daughter go?

I am appreciative of ALL You & Bob did arranging movers, your efforts with the window coverings from one place to another plus all the CVS drive thrus, TT pick ups & all online & personal shopping for the beautiful new clothes.

My dilemma is how sad I feel with losing my view of independence-even walking to CVS to pickup more scrips which is not an option right now. While I do PT room exercise I am minus my walking which really helped keep me level & maintain my weight.

I am too fragile from move to even begin trying relocate.

I appreciate you screening for bills & am confused about GBH Billings now totaling almost $12000 with my part being $2750 per BCBS. I am lucky that majority of medical bills have been covered 100% with some scrips & Drs copays. Given current Billings total $38700 per BCBS. Medicare I need revisit later. So far show no amount due then not sure all GBH been billed. Do I need Medicare billing advocate to understand full Billings & if any still not addressed? I am tapped out of energy for reading all bills & appears most billed GBH. Still think GBH in patient billing yet to be processed by either Medicare or BCBS & $2750 for GBH in patient only & why bill like they do? $8750 for 6-1 & $1500 week with no amount due from me for 5/27 to 5/29 leaving bills for 4 additional weeks. It’s confusing.

Anyway Fatima swept & swiffer mopped all my place plus cleaned kitchen sink. Rest cleaned myself plus moving what needed to do floors like mat.

You probably do not want know details & SL will bill by email & to my WF address per email I forwarded to you. They refuse to recognize your acting as my DPOA.

I am pretty worn out & will try not send hurtful texts tho I am down & feel defeated here. I did at least find workaround for breakfast & lunch today.

At least take care & break. Do NOT deliver CVS scrips 2nd Risperdone & Hydrochlorothyazide cause I have plenty.

Fingers crossed we all get break here🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀💚

just a bunch of angry texts messages from my mother

Oh I see I CHOSE to move & set myself back $11561-it’s only less than US dollars So I can set myself up for OK having paid $11561 for “free month”

Even tho my short term memory still goes & comes back on whim even I can see that as a colossal loss $

Should I rationalize this loss by saying my own savings well spent & it’s just Grandma’s $

It’s my Dad’s too & he’d want more value you for my inheritance & add to it Stoneleigh never mind the positive emails will RUIN my credit! No credit rating or possibility of choices like leasing anywhere. What did You think- I want home for more than 21 months at time The WF is NOT home It’s ridiculous 1 room that is smaller than my dorm room except oh great the laundry in same floor not 1st floor

I have better hopes than this NO ONE CHECKS ON ME

NO ONE INTRODUCED AN “AMBASSADOR”

So far for $11,561 except for 2 shuttle rides I have done it all myself

Do you know how frustrating it is to sample veggie selection & know TOO MUCH SALT so in trash it goes! I ate last my veggies yesterday except for tiny tomatoes I finished today

Why how am I better off here?

It seems soon just convenient for my immediate family-

No need take off to provide rides to doctors So far feel I can drive myself BUT I cannot afford another dollar toward place does NOT come through ALL promised & I pay price literally & out of my dwindling wallet

Oh I do write NO SALT PLEASE

TOO BAD ALREADY MADE FOR ALL TOO MUCH SALT OR DO NOT EAT DR IQBAL BE IMPRESSED & EXTRA WEIGHT & IT’S ALL MY DOING EVEN HEALTHY CHOICE OPTION TOO SALTY

IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD BE....It is a rip off- & I pay for it

Please do not text me proselytizing suggestions as I may have had rough few months yet I can still function well in my financial life & making most w decor & treasures & Art that help me know here I am again starting over for TOO many times to name yet past 30 years I relied on myself & solely myself to buffer my tattered life with solid savings, zero debt & nice place to live & most of time nice car. Do you have any idea what Birthday car meant to me after first Corolla was totaled & Yaris was my step down car from 2010 to 2018! You diminish me by leaps & bounds with “lecture texts” about choices yet you dance around that choices remain limited for me realistically & financially due to one more relapse-this cost me my financial stability along with my family regarding me like I never faced challenges in my life-21 moves counting this one, 4 assaults all life changing & doing it mostly on my own financially because my Dad could only afford two family members he supported & cared for -one for 70 years & other for 65 or 66 years plus doing extras for his youngest child. As a single child I wonder if you know what it’s like to be as fiercely independent as I’ve been through 3 in patient stays starting over at work & letting go people who cannot deal well with a severe neurological disorder-some in my family. I have no plans to accommodate a sibling who verbally abused me multiple times & verbally abused a parent that just needed say “good bye” & collect some memories what left & some dusty mementos.

Never again do I want to hear Bob M -himself estranged from some family & not ever sought counseling for his abuse-Tell me I will regret not making contact with my abusive brother-That is awkwardness of you being in business with Bro-little objectivity & lots lets just smooth it over. One last time “Blood is not thicker than water when abuse is involved.”

Somehow I find myself compromising my own views & beliefs to & for what with You & Bob. People who’ve lost as much as I have relish & need home WE CHOSE-not home others choose & just tell us we have power & choices to....

We do not have those magical powers-NEVER did I move myself during a relapse for a year or more after. I am ripped to shreds by this move-sometimes I think I go along with your choices FOR ME out of guilt. NO MORE-& now know both You & Bob have no idea how much you harmed & set back my recovery-for 30 years I counted on providing myself with financial stability & two iof you ended that in few short weeks.

I am in tatters mentally spiritually emotionally AND NOW financially. My success now is not in my favor. I am OK with Gonzales & Iqbal. I do like Onadeko. Rest I did to appease You-Chauhan NOT match for me & I have many more years than you to know that. As to DPOA-I have regrets as decisions made has left me bankrupt metaphorically. Take $20K & car so I can feel I in some way gave you compensation for what-relapsing during Covid 19? In your home. Never contemplated our relationship might fracture yet give my kind Bi-polar long enough...I do not care label hang on me today yet I am more than a label. Honestly I have lost myself plus core of my family all get is a text with emojis like maybe what I have is contagious. And condescending offer 4-6 each Thursday and seem get more out of doing chores CVS & etc than am I really still connected to you in any meaningful way. I did read Margot Kidder’s daughter gave up on her cause BP is an unforgiving Bitch that can demolish what’s left. Just why shove me into a place that is so not healing or responsive to me? Convenience? Done? Not sure what do next? Why tell me you consulted legal counsel & did not-Now I’m mired in Stoneleigh financial mess & Covid gives you reason to hand it off to me & walk away. Give what’s left nest egg back? I’m left hurt & confused

Texts will not help. You have NOT called since drives home from Waco. I’m in less than place for Your convenience & especially Bob’s. How long has it been since you can risk telling me The Truth. Did You think Bro could deliver The Shocking News better. I did not pry tho asked every now & then about Bob’s possible new jobs. Bro’s version was like a Mental Nuclear Bomb- Bob’s been working at HK 17-18 mos according to Bro. Of course he’d had few alcoholic beverages nite before & huge hangover. Then I take you to Kearney’s to celebrate you leaving Dwyer Group as IF no opportunities yet for job-that was Wednesday & on Friday you’re working at HK. So here it is-you CHOOSE be in business w someone who verbally abused his Mother-she’s 88 soon 89-and does NOT see her again until nearly her death; he keeps HK like living memorial, says a lot negative about Bob to me, says you’re like his daughter & you’re the new PREZ of HK-honestly I thought I’d ended up in episode of Twilight Zone- who what actually reality check here-NOTHING from you not even when at Kearny’s & this “secret biz arrangement “ going on since 2017? Somewhere or when is a disconnect that suggests our relationship has been strained far longer than I knew-cause at Kearney’s you say not word that in two days Friday you will officially work at HK with man who will or says who will not welcome your Father to visit you at work. Now I’m in place so detrimental to my health & you tell me to make it work. When rash hurried decision move WF & SL financial fallout finally settles I want what’s left of my nest egg back & WHEN SHIT COVID FINALLY ALLOWS ME OUT HERE I am moving to either small town outside of Vancouver, Indy (Indianapolis) or Taos NM-it’s like you adventuring to Taipei in 1986 & I supported your CHOICE even when another parental unit said just “following a boy” when I knew you were actually following your dream! And 30 years later..... I expect you to support me following my dream! You’re right-I can CHOSE for myself & realize I may not see you for....cause I plan not to fly there but see country with my mover-Bob can relax cause it’s NOT you.

You’re FREE of me after 30 years helping me through hell & for some strong reason I see NO relapse in WA IN or NM at least not for another 25 years & by then I will be w Elvis, If ALL get until I move is 4-6 on Thursdays-then I take it! No road trip for you this time. My fondest memories of my Adult Daughter was trip to NC & back from GA plus time in NC from 06 to 2012. It’s been hard on us all since. Bob needs you & you’re like Gpa-a natural caretaker. When Bob did his you’re going to be end of my wife & I’ll be a widower I did NOT cross him-you mean world to him & it’s time for me go away & THIS IS MY LAST MOVE! To watch sun set & rise over waters around Vancouver I hope- better find support group there & people help me get there!

I am NOT flying to my New Last Home-Maybe wherever BNSF can take me, my loving creatures, my art including All Bob Art, & what’s left of my furniture. I bet I can ship my treasures & new bed & you can have your chair back & royal blue chair-I’ll take pillows art my plush animals my clothes you got me & I’ll order new tops before I go-I want more than a vacation & regrettably I cannot go to Canada-no connections there tho have stellar mental health network compared to here & more affordable doctors & scrips. If something happens to HK or you are welcome to get away & live with me. Please bring Travis & Jordan-they can savor a “pot” garden with no repercussions. I AM LEAVING TEXAS-I NEVER CHOSE TO LIVE HERE-WISH I’D MOVED US WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG BUT THERE WAS DADDY TO CONSIDER & LATER YOUR FRIENDS & SCHOOL. I AM OK YOU ARE NATIVE TO TEXAS & WANT TO STAY HERE. THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO LIVE WITH YOU IN NC & GA & NOW IT’S TIME FOR ME TO LEAVE ALL HERE & GO HOME TO VANCOUVER-I DO NOT THINK INDY OR TAOS WILL WORK-I TORE OUT PART OF MY BECOMING JOURNAL CAUSE ALL ABOUT MY MOVE & DID NOT WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS & YOU’RE DONE HELPING ME THRU BP RELAPSES-IT!S TIME FOR YOU TO QUIT. IF COVID GOES OUT BOUNDS HERE I KNOW YOU WANT STAY NO MATTER...I AM SORRY I CANNOT PROTECT YOU & NEEDED TO REALIZE THAT LONG TIME AGO-TRULY YOU ARE DONE-I WILL MANAGE ANY FURTHER SETBACKS & THINK ABOUT IT

OUR FAMILIES HAVE BEEN SCATTERED SINCE DAD DIED

LIZ PREDICTED IT WE’RE ALL ON OUR OWN-THAT IS LESS SCARY THAN BEING STUCK AT WATERFORD IT’S JUST NOT FOR ME THAT’S WHY I NEVER DROVE IN & INQUIRED THIS PLACE GIVES ME THE HEEBIE JEEBIES PLEASE HELP ME GET OUT BY FALL

Zoe🌷🌷

I am sorry for my texts that need go in my journal like Nanny gave me many years ago

I give You much credit for all your decisions during and after while I am trying to recover.

I do feel frustrated but not alone in that my setting myself up for spring & summer success & trip to Vancouver to check out living there never came about.

Your counsel & wisdom mean a lot & I know I can only try make peace with aftermath of moving & what it cost or will cost.

It appears my health insurance mostly covers if not entirely covers cost of hospital stays & the out patient group which of course is big relief & great news. I am concerned GBH in-patient bill has not posted or billed yet while out patient bills finally being paid. I will sign onto Medicare today to see if find out more & put medical bills behind me.

I am unsure about Stoneleigh & delay. Perhaps holding off until August 11th my last day 60 day notice to vacate. I do not know

Your kindness & perseverance mean more than...I understand if you prefer to quit on my behalf.

I have fully paid Visa, still have Weather Tech credit yet post, plan no more bills beyond ATT & water bill. Will not buy few tops & essentials until all settles. I have 2nd direct deposit coming on day WF drafts $1850-plenty to cover it now & my account will see more $ w DD on 8-3.

It’s all such shock it’s hard to understand. Honestly I cannot afford WF plus doctors scrips few groceries. I am scared for my finances. I know you meant well & to lease anywhere else I will need pay SL what they demand. All my efforts keep nest egg above $100K just nearly there....

Take care. I worry for you as Covid back rate like worst. You & Travis & Jordan are my all.

I tried w Bob & failed.

FEELING SORRY FOR HERSELF

I realize that Covid-19 is terrible and has basically shut down the world until we discover a vaccine.  However, my mother seems to think that she is the only person on the planet that has been affected by this lock down. Anything and everything that does not go her way incites nasty text messages and hour long phone calls about "WO is me."   I want to help and I just sit there and listen to her negativity on the phone and just wish that someone would help with this situation.  It's only 1:58 in the afternoon and as you can see, she has already sent me 12 text messages along with a 8 pictures of her food and surroundings.  

Mike called about tomorrow’s shuttle ride cause I did NOT show up Tues at 10 even tho the Front desk assured me they’d let Mike know. It’s representative of the staff shortage & how gets out hand when case of Covid now on record. The log is in common area with pen for ALL to use. No one thought to move it to desk & require gloves. I already used my own pen so tomorrow I need go log Dr CHAUHAN’s Aug 4th appt myself. I intend to wear gloves, mask take elevator “key” & keep my door keys in my wallet purse

Just after he called I put trash out & there was lost woman again NO MASK wandering halls cause she’s lost. I cannot help cause do not know her Apt # tho assured by Dorothy who takes precautions the lost lady does find her place. How sad Where’s staff? Supposed wellness checks You cannot expect the meal Servers to do that-they’re paid minimum hourly & have lots meals to deliver. You need know these lapses & what I need do live safely here & it’s not “independent living”-it’s “You’re on your own-Wing it!”

No bills yet for GBH All doctors, scrips & BSW full paid by Medicare & BCBS Waiting for GBH bill for in-patient & out-patient No call Supervisor Home Health Nurse Guessing that’s on hold until 8-4 our 14 day wait period

Not sure-maybe sun will take care of it. Some black mold or it can be tree smutt is growing on my balcony. I went out to just get sunshine & more half covered. Maybe when dries out & w sun it will go away? It’s on other balconies too. No use reporting this-running on def con 10 & low staffing. This kind of everyone stays in does affect bottom line-

Hope your big installation goes well & smoothly. It is mid to low 90s tho humidity makes hotter feels like day. Be sure your installers have some Gateraide

for electrolytes.

Take care as best we all can.

Without Group activities back square one meeting residents & doing my own activities word puzzles, Art, reading & HGTV History channel PBS & trying for Food Network Tho NO guide so....

Hallmark channel retreads of Golden Girls & Fraiser since Lori Louglin ripped her shorts took off family show had 2 guys & 3 sisters. Monk I’d watch but that’s on Hallmark Mysteries & Movies Fat chance Retirement TV DBA Direct TV will install any upgrades since Texas is neck & neck w California setting records for # of new Covid Cases

Please be careful-apparently those quite reckless or like Pence live it in Almighty’s hands & then we just all go where-heaven or? I am done here-2 weeks 4 days barely doing long impressive list amenities & now I am stuck in a tiny cracker box little human contact & 90s retreads on TV

Wow-I must be lucky as hell to land here & give up 1100 sq ft my car & kitchen that is super compared to this! No cooking but toast if had Dave’s bread

(her apartment was 720 square feet.  Not 1100 sq. feet.)

I can & have toasted w cheese what’s left of corn street tacos

Tomorrow’s dinner choice is pepperoni & tiny mushroom pizza from frozen to heated...

11 days go & really no where to go little $ left....no Vancouver vacation let alone 800 sq ft ( lavish by current standards) cottage- please ask Bob buy lotto ticket for me. I win we will split 50-50 & just well gamble on Vancouver WA/CA as.... & bonus I am OUT of your hair

I just reported a water leak under my kitchen cabinet & NOT pipes connected to the faucets coming in or draining. It’s under the baseboard so NO kitchen faucet & NOW have to clear all from cabinets & drawers & counter top! Where do I put it all Guess all in one walk in food pantry & “storage” Honest to God one more snafu at this OVERRATED place & I will beg Stoneleigh to take me back-I will take my W & D & dining table w me! I will pay August NOT live here even one day HereI go moving AGAIN 3 moves in less 2 years a record even for me

Enjoy your out together home & all!!!!!

So pretty much Ernesto wants to say it was my tea jar which did leak onto shelf & down into drawer cause I stupidly tried put both Brita  pitchers in frig

to clear counter. He is possibly going say tea leak when MORE than what in jar leaked 3 times from under the let kitchen cabinet. So with ALL in tub in walk in & paper towel pad under front frig I have NO USE OF KITCHEN FAUCET OR DRAWERS OR CABINET WHILE TRY DETERMINE IF FRIG LEAKING DUE CONDENSATION! I am frankly done w this 3 ring circus! I was nice & positive w Ernesto but why call again. It was so tight he could NOT pull frig out to see if water BUT w my flash lite & his NO WATER BETWEEN THE FRIG & KITCHEN CABINET! He agreed. Finally he said it was  condensation from the frig so he checked freezer & frig settings which I had NOT adjusted & were OK & he put padding paper towels under front of frig & no real resolution why water from under far left cabinet when frig is on right. It’s like screen not smooth process & still fits askew on window & gaps. I want to give up cause I cannot use either top of my frig OR KITCHENETTE SINK CABINET OR DRAWERS ON LOWER PART Why do You again think this is better than Stoneleigh cause in my view same old let’s make it look nice but not fix underlying repair jobs like back balcony door still sticks & hard to open So You live outside & I’m stuck here what reporting issues canNOT be fixed first time-maybe You find this minor but I have wet towel, no fix & NO WORKING KITCHEN JUST WAITING TO SEE WHAT LEAKS NEXT-I give cause really do NOT want phone calls at all let alone about fix it or maintenance. They have no formal process for anything & I pay a royal sum $1850 month this year & $1950 month next w NO CHOICES CAUSE MENU REPEATS, PLENTY FRIED OPTIONS & NO DIETITIAN NO ONE W EXPERTISE SO WHY AM I HERE AGAIN? NO WELLNESS CHECKS GET POINT NO ONE CHECKS ON ME NO ONE!!!!!! It’s ALL marketing BS THEY OFFER NOTHING BUT TINY CRACKER BOX & SCHOOL LUNCH QUALITY FOOD & GEE RIDE TO DOCTOR-I really want go there

NO MORE DOCTORS OR APPTS beyond Gonzales Iqbal & Onadeko. I will try one more month or 2 additional sessions w Chauhan-not caliber counseling I received from Joanne & Ann in 90s. NO help w PTSD & when I mention CBT & what are current CBT techniques nothing! Jess a Social Worker w Masters from GBH really better & focuses on NOW & my life NOW! Other old school on the couch....NO techniques so far...1st 3 sessions zilch Although to appease you I go along for....

Done- one more stupidity here or at therapist I retain right to move on-preferably out of state to state spell Mental Health Services & provide it.

Done ✅

I got small part breakfast cause all this & lunch is a dud today so maybe leak from all my imaginary strawberry lemonade I made from sour lemons 🍋

I will eat lunch w last baby tomatoes & put my space back together no matter-It’s not sink or water lines under cabinet per Ernesto-it’s condensation from frig so get busy twinkle contents somehow w/o throwing anything away Ship less than meals & eat frozen entree or drink down Glucerna

I am not steady enough yet have these disruptions to my living environment after moving-it’s overwhelmed me until get it back in shape then not much day left read art or...so try work on toolkits & stay level at least try I slept 10-2:40 up until 3 slept 3-6:30 no what! Path to steps back & need stay in place then forward I do NOT want hear about what is gone to me driving-I eating Panera-making great salads or abrupt departure from Stoneleigh I not sure May have lost too much to balance & tired just hanging on- what recovery? What healing?

Got kitchenette in order w less in 2 drawers & lower cabinet, also got walk in food pantry storage in organized bins shelves little boxes etc It’s required to keep my PTSD & whatever call it now in check

I have no SPECIAL place for Godiva Bear-will not put her back on top frig- that’s creepy place. Will look around for spot

Then all in order. “It”- leak- etc consumed most day & I’m tired w headache Will not hesitate to take Tylenol Want save some kind for day. Hesitant to nap & then sleep be off 2nite. Want day that’s on schedule let alone smooth. I do NOT like this weird ghostly place-not person in sight walking 3rd floor w mask gel etc & it’s no wonder memory challenged ones confused- activities one day & nothing next.... Not many came out w no Covid- now more have notes not to knock but leave meals at outside door-only hot meal served fresh in dining hall- ours room temp at best & if last one cold. Cannot heat their meals in microwave without effort-served in white foam containers all of it- so put own then more containers I just eat room temp or cold-imagine 6 or more medium carts need loading w entrees drinks condiments desserts ice cream cups etc Wonder it’s still edible. They do their best!

It sucks just sucks for ALL!

(the smallest fiddle here)

Too many workarounds & I am fizzled out. I do NOT like it here I just endure it & too sad-I cry like today. I miss my big apartment nicer frig kitchen my summer salads & driving my car-I drove small streets & stayed off 635 20 30 183 except time had go DMV. I am a ghost of my former self & celebrations elude me!

(In actuality, my mother won't drive at night; won't drive on highways.  She had me drive her everywhere because she likes to be driven around. I drive to pick her up; drive to get her medicine; drive her to many of her Dr.'s appointments; drive her to pick up her groceries from Tom Thumb; drive her to pick up her dry cleaning; drive her to Target, etc.  Yes, all this driving her around last week..)