MY BIPOLAR MOTHER

I am the daughter of a bipolar mother. My experiences with my mother, family, and friends teach me everyone's reality is different and perception is the friend or the foe of the day. I am hoping my posts give insight to those who are curious and give comfort to those who see a parallel. I invite feedback and look forward to collaboration. It is my focus to spread joy, even on dark days. Smiles can be effortless or the workout of the day. Thanks for reading!

Friday, June 26, 2020

BIPOLAR PERSON TRYING TO LEAVE GROUP THERAPY



MY MOTHER AT 4:00am SENT THIS MESSAGE TO HER GROUP THERAPIST.  THE GROUP IS TIRED OF HAVING HER CONSTANTLY DISRUPTING GROUP THERAPY AND  BUTTING INTO CONVERSATIONS.  SHE JUST CAN'T KEEP HER MOUTH CLOSED FOR MORE THAN 3 SECONDS AT A TIME AND THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR 30+ YEARS.  NEVER WILL SHE JUST KEEP QUIET, EVEN DURING A MOVIE OR DURING DINNER.  SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.  IT HAS DRIVEN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY RELATAVIES AWAY BECAUSE SHE CONSTANTLY TALKS OVER THEM.  MY MOTHER DOESN'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK OR YOUR OPION ON REALLY ANYTHING.  SHE JUST WANTS TO TELL YOU HER OPINION ON EVERYTHING...IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXHAUSTING!!








NAME Judi   Date: 6-25-20

What are your therapeutic goals for today and this week?

1 Leave Out Patient Group on a “High Note” either 6-25 Fri or 6-29 Mon because of my move 6-30 t0 7-2 to The Waterford Of Mesquite an Independent Living Community of just over 100 people including staff. There are 3 apartment floors and I am on floor 3Rd floor with mostly single women due widows or divorced like me. My apartment is safe with 2 wellness checks a day at 8-9 pm and Noon if I am not in scheduled activities like art exercise later dining room for breakfast lunch and dinner now delivered to my apartment due Covid 19 partial quarantine. I have been trained to carry hand sanitizer, wear my mask and sanitizer wipes to navigate available activity rooms like library, art and puzzles room, exercise class also offered on own tv channel, walking group called Waterford Walkers plus 2 outdoor areas front and back with rockers and glider seating more 2 for visitors other than my designated care giver my daughter Zoe who can and is acting on my behalf while I recover. In 2015 and 2018 I put in place via my Attorney a Medical Power of Attorney and a Medical Directive for state of Texas and voided one for North Carolina where I formerly lived with my daughter and her family. When they moved from Waco TX to Mesquite TX where we now all live I had my Attorney put in place a Durable Power of Attorney in which she now represents me to void last 3 months of my lease where I now live, Coordinate with my Medicare caseworker and an independent Medical Advocate as I also am covered by Federal Blue Cross Blue Shield for my medications and secondary costs after Medicare. My daughter Stephaney Zoe is a loving and supportive care taker. She just bought me a new beautiful wardrobe so I will go to Waterford with 15 or more mix and match outfits, 3 pairs new shoes etc.

When I wanted to repay her out of my $1200 stimulus money she said I had bought her beautiful clothes for years and it was her turn. I thanked her for such a loving gift cause I was debt free before my hospital stay and now bills coming in. I owe $1,408.00 on an almost $19,000.00 meds bill for 3 days. Still do not have meds bill for GBH for 12 days meds let alone my out pocket cost for 3 days in Baylor Scott and White plus 12 bill for in patient stay at Garland Behavioral Health plus Out Patient IOP GBH for 15 days so far.My psychiatrist is only $26.00 and $13.00 co-pay. I just imagine 5 mg Melatonin will not soothe me to sleep so I will turn it over to my daughter, my medical health advocates and My Higher Power because what is spent is spent on hospital care stellar care all my Super Hero’s. I did art thanking them ALL!

2 Anyway goal # 2 - Say Good bye to my home now and over weekend. It’s been really good townhome apartment over 1000 sq ft just for me but The Jerk came again in my manic psychosis-none since 2005 25 years cause I booted that Jerk right out of life with CBT, women counselors in the trenches with me and my PTSD plus self defense classes for FIVE YEARS 1995 to 2000! I know my severe rapid cycling Disorder Affective Schizo Bipolar Type is scary. You want to know my secret to PREVENT RELAPSE? Apply myself to Recovery, manage both Mood Stability and PTSD. I named named first break down in 1990 THE RUNAWAY TRAIN WRECK because I felt defeated spiritually where was My Higher Power because I had protection at 4 12 and 16 and then wham at 39 I am defeated and all 3 of Jerks say it’s because I wanted what did to me and tell any grownups they can prove been somewhere else & hurt my baby brother 4 or my baby sister at 12. My Aunt Marty found in bushes at 4 & I got Home Town Justice cause she told her husband and his brothers and Deputy Sheriff and I got to spit on guy like my Uncle Holley showed me to spit and tell That Jerk died old age “If ever do that and hurt another Lille girl like me they will ALL make you wish you were in HELL cause you’re evil man and that’s where evil people go-Hell” Same for 12 and 16 My Daddy told both to stay away from me and move away NOW cause I could only say put their tongues down my mouth not any of other. Except for women counselors I never told anyone dirt truth until I was 65 years old and gave journals to my daughter Zoe my young sister Liz and my oldest niece who I watched like hawk and all married then 22 to 30 years with nice husbands they can trust. I divorced my husband in 1982 because I could not trust him and he stole from every employer he ever worked for plus ran up huge credit card debt in both our names. I never told him what happened to me as a child. He sometimes caused me great distress and PTSD cause he would be insensitive. He has a PHD in Educational Psychology yet he cannot be kind to me financially, spiritually or emotionally tho he never abused me physically. I still felt I married a Selfish Narcissist and I shocked him by divorcing Him in a $5000 arbitrated divorce in Texas in 1982 when only NY and CA offered them and my now exhusband said we could NOT afford one-Do NOT Challenge Workaround Judi-I have been negotiating with abusers for years like taking my brothers punishments before he went to school once I got home after school. My Nanny was well aware her daughter put me in locked closet of my room and took light bulb out. So how did she handle it? She asked her daughter if that was true. My mother denied it and called me a liar. Who did Nanny believe? She taught me to read Braille and My first Braille book about Helen Keller a smart girl who said “life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” That book made me Workaround Judi at age 3 cause I did Jess’ distraction and read books by Braille and pretended I was little girl who had no sight or hearing or ability to speak. There are a lot people who have kept me sane for 30 years — Helen Keller, my Nanny who believed me, My Daddy who believed me My Aunt Marty and Uncle Holly who believed me and ultimately My daughter Zoe, my sister Liz my oldest niece and friends through years who protected me at work and church and they knew I was psychotic at times. I find it hard to trust people who believe all Bipolar Affective DO rapid cycling type DSM III 296.7 now Schizo Affective DO, bipolar type formerly diagnosed by my new psychiatrist affirming Dr O’s diagnosis. Anyway back to ex husband and maybe I will wake up barely in time for group and drink GLUCERNA. Please forgive me if say Group members have right to mad at me and want me out. Please five me 4 mins at end Group to day I am sorry for disrupting group and say kind graceful good bye and I wish could have paid for donuts and kolaches but Christopher generously covered it. 3 sentences. Lot mr do it first just sing off and give myself no pass grade for IOP. Back yp ex He finished his PHD and he had raw nerve to tell me he like say shut F up. Guess he slept through that grad class. I am trained in dual major both School Psychology and Child Clinical Psychology. I was not formally diagnosed until 1990 and I learned about myself in my grad studies long ago in 1970s.

Symptoms FINALLY

Depressed 1

Angry 1 Laugh most time at my unreal manic psychosis cause thanks meds and support Drs You Group in out GBH plus my stellar family cause my brain “rebooted” back reality how will I pay all hospital bills and my dear daughter’s inheritance may be wiped out in in days in GBH and 12 days in IOP GBH give me whole box donuts I may need sugar distraction to get over hospital stay in 2005 cost mr $605 And this one could cost all my dear daughter’s inheritance and even If I could avoid free comp month at The Waterford my next home may be my car.

Stress 5 Moving Medical bills 7 cause there’s much in my savings after moving Why move? 3 fall risks in my home per Home Health Nurse that either apt owner or I cannot or will not fix starting with tub/shower even my shower chair cannot fix etc

Panic Attacks zero

My sleep Improving With melatonin but bills

My appetite improvedNo seeing hearing things

No new problems with relationships even tho out psychosis doing mood stability and half world men Yikes Just kidding I trust myself now and men in my family plus guys like Christian and Group Guys reassure me

Bet you wish I could just check boxes on a paper form or my iPad let me prefill Me too

Can control anger

Np side Meds change Lost one and half pounds re exercise

No racing thoughts now except I want go to bed and sleep until 8:30 am

No isolation

No flashbacks today

No memory body trauma

No one triggering me I sent The Jerk to local Friends in effigy like movie Groundhog Day cause He and my brother met there two years ago where my brother goes almost everyday to eat drink lite beer cause it is not whiskey. My brother had four wives one annulment and 3 divorces to his credit but he is my little brother. I used to call him bud and take his punishments-abuse from our mother. The bar staff call him Norm, He talks to everyone Especially Vietnam Vets cause he is one. That’s where he met up with The Jerk and they decided I deserved what guy did to me cause II am crazy and II asked for it! In beery lite haze they both condemned ME! I did NOT ask to be raped! Then all comes out in news about Bill Cosby and Matt Laur and Weinstein on on Mooves and Ailes and Bill O’Reilly on and on and on & my Bud watches Fox 4 News and tells me ALL those Guys were railroaded! My Bud-My little brother broke really shattered my heart to pieces! My Dad knew The Jerk was bad news and told him NOT come again to our house when I was barely 16 and he was 19 cause held back in school. Do you know how much I cringe feeling out these ratings when get to harm part and do NOT really want answer. I have diagnosis now which my brother told this Jerk. Statute of limitations long gone and just want my privacy and to be left in peace. While Itold my sister and my daughter and my niece Itold NO ONE ELSE! Only my ex husband can say The Jerk used call and harass me at my parents’ phone. MY Dad is gone passed away since 2016, my Dad asked my son-in-law to protect me and my daughter from this Jerk.

I  started or tried start a walking group outside Of all chaos of VSL movies going on in group activity room. I now know it was kind of bullying 0f “THE OLD GIZZER” grandmother and great grandmother of Group, Guess what? I got accepted by my peers and made a full group member of In Patient Group because like it or not we are testing each other when you’re doing staffing and it’s just us. Just like elementary school we tested each of us not rat out each other. I can proudly say at 71 going on 72 I am a Group In Patent in good with my Group! I messed up Out Patient Group because OMG there were real men in it and I defaulted to my best protection mode THE MUCH OLDER FUSSY SUNDAY SCHOO TEACHER mode and it worked well but coming out of manic mood swings so fierce I could not stop them I messed up Group. SORRY I did not mean to disrupt Group. One of most fun days in high school was when I goody two shoes and The Bad Girl teamed up ditched school and smoked cigarettes. It is 4:30 and I will sleep through group. I do not think it is good idea for me to mess up group with my non stop talking and interruptions. I resign from Group and please just say I will miss Group but no WiFi off 6-30 to 7-5. Then move into my new place. I do not like leaving like this but daughter is worrying about my part of medical bills and I slept Through one. Help her if can with Medicare case manager. She’s tired too.

Rest ratings not legible or cut off







Dorothy,

You and Jennifer have been so gracious, kind and considerate to me through all my Group disruptions including last ZOOM tech snafu and making it a WIN WIN WIN for us all by brilliantly making it a Group activity and allowing me to keep my dignity because I was frustrated due short term memory lapses and Jennifer aided me & The Group cheered me on to doing Group through my iPhone vs my iPad would not cooperate. Truth is now admit I knew workaround was my iPhone but not steps to get there. I thought here I go again disrupting Group and not be level enough to show them my Real Strength which is they can be me 30 years down road-successfully preventing relapses and managing our own disruptions mine rare mood instability that never makes to depression most them fighting. I actually met a woman in my psychiatrist’s office yesterday with worse mania than mine and older than me! My Higher Power’s gift to me-a great day where she told me to take melatonin to sleep and hot drink like for me herbal tea. My psychiatrist told me take 5-10 mg melatonin a night and list foods to eat to prevent mood instability because Risperdone and Carbamazepine hard on me at my age like Lunesta.

Anyway I will leave Group Friday or Monday if Group “votes” I can stay if do not disrupt Group then WiFi off from 6-60 until 7-3 or 7-5 per Waterford and ATT 7-4 holiday. I have Dr O. as my terrific psychiatrist and after 3rd office visit we will do Tele health visits through her link not ZOOM. My therapist and I have two appointments scheduled in her office for this week and week after this week. If she has no Tele health option I will stay safe and vigilant with my mask, hand gel and sanitizer wipes and use Waterford shuttle to see her.

Maybe I did not tell all of you I have no ride to do IOP at GBH and must use ZOOM to participate. ZOOM is not as good as being there in person cause you cannot cue me as easily as Jess to wait my turn and not interrupt.

Anyway I am much improved in mood STABILITY just I prefer I’m possible to impossible. This is kind objective feedback to you-Your symptoms ratings mostly do NOT work well for me tho I am such goody two shoes I did not mention you have no NOT APPLICABLE option for drugs and alcohol addiction or self abuse by cutting. Plus yes or no to Impulse control does not work for me. Why? S/b 1 to 10. I am 5-7 not like told to me “No impulse” control. Do you know it’s NO or 1 if I am in manic psychosis rather than mood instability or as I prefer mood stability. Please set me up for success and know taking melatonin will take few days to work effectively. So futile go bed 9:30 to 10:30 and fall soundly to sleep at around midnight. Still 6 1/2 hours sound sleep.

I am doing what Jess taught me-a distraction from not falling asleep right away.By way how about Last Laugh with Good Ending-In Patient Group mostly young women in their late teens like 18-19 to young 20s for drug addiction issues. Who do I look like to them?

Their really old granny or better yet their GREAT GRANDMOTHER. We had stay in Group Room from after breakfast to bedtime almost and last meds. I count on one group member to have my back so (all female floor no men great for me a multiple rape survivor from age 4 to 12 to 16 to 39) young ones trying to haze me with eye rolls or shocking me with F words or better yet wearing tight leggings no bras and loose tops and shoving chairs in front of me or dancing showing off skin art down to their behinds and showing off bare naked girls flashing me. So they thought I would rat them out to a Tech or Nurse for watching VSL rated movies and flashing plus playing lewd suggestive rap music. Nope I just let them do it all while saying I was sitting by window cause sorry your movies trigger me and did Jess’ toolkits  Dealing With Psychosis and Dealing With Mood Instability. I picked my own snack trash and theirs too. I told one girl she was much more talented than her rapper dealer “boyfriend” and just block his number from her phone. 3 days later and w only kindness-remember Plato said in 600 AD show kindness as we all fight hard battles-tolerance they began picking up their own trash dressing to display their art beautifully And all did was be kind tolerant accepting and supportive So why did I go backwards in Out patient group-Men and I must face that’s my and our Real World. Who helped me face my fear men and fact shoo them off with my SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER ACT-Christian that’s who. But in enough time to not alienate All men and shy ones and all in Group. Who will rescue me this time? You cannot as our objective Group Leaders. Maybe Scott the kindest most welcoming man I do not fear in Group. I tend to identify with our ZOOM guys like Daniel who I fear I ran off or Christopher who is so fighting hard his depression yet shares a lot of positives and the Guy who scares me most because I knew close to saying he knew a lot more about computer snafus then me. I’d want to ask why will you not help me because I just F ing forgot? Who will ask me to stay at least until 6-30? I left this with my Higher Power cause I do not know an answer. Kindly Judi


































































































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