BIPOLAR PERSON CHANGING DOCTORS

NAME Judi         Date 6-23-20

What are your therapeutic goals for today or this week?

1 Since working as a mediator between end tech computer users and  computer programmers for 14 years, I strive to live and remember I do NOT want or tolerate a “bus driver’s holiday taking the bus to San Antonio.” Computer tech specialist was my job NOT my life. Consequently, I restored the sound on my iPad for ZOOM audio compatibility (little 1990s computer jargon) and moved The Monster in my sacred dining and art area to It’s own tech area out away from my healthy dining art and sleeping area! My Goal for today and until is to compatibly “marry” my iPad to ZOOM so I can revel in and enjoy our Group and the great people helping me including You and Jennifer. Thank you for your patience.

2 Next goal is to stop envying the Group members with comfy chairs and ones can participate without ZOOM. I like ZOOM if I’m watching Late Night with Stephen Colbert otherwise I’d rather participate in person. So I am trying my sofa with large wooden tray for The Monster and comfy throw and sore right leg up on sofa. I do fear disrupting Group once again with Old Gizzer snoring with such comfort.

3 I do believe feel think doing my Art renews me. So I will make room time and welcome my Art back into my life. I will create my beloved Art and RENEW today.

4 I will call the “new” therapist today and tell her kindly and diplomatically I will NOT be seeing as my therapist but instead will see counselor-need save money etc as entire first session with her all about her reams paperwork and no active listening about are we a good match with someone just leveling from manic psychosis and mood instability. After all insurance card verification and reams paperwork only time to set new appointment and then she says only works 3 days week, cannot assure me of same day time etc and that it will take two months billing appointments before she can determine my co-pay and no appointment available until mid-July. I had just given her my Visa number and my daughter liked her so tired and weary from day I made an appointment.Now here it is. I changed my view based on my gut impression of Eddie the KIND EMPATHIC guy who I also called. He was upfront about fee schedule (affordable) concerned about me and just had feeling time for A Man Counselor to help me build Trust in myself because I faced I felt I set myself up for 2 assaults by same Guy and he said he’d find me again. BS I stopped first one with aid of my Dad and faked it until I make it I told him my whole family due any minute for Cookie Monster themed birthday party for my niece and once inside they will call police and both my Dad who cautioned me he was unstable if he got angrily jealous over my just looking at another guy to just Say sorry I’m busy school papers and let him go. Rape does not even begin to describe fear and humiliation I felt. I AGREED to meet to explain and that was like an ambush rape is pale word. Anyway he found me again when I was 39 and my trust in myself cause I opened door to who I believed were little girls selling church candy. Years later after lots therapy from 1990-2001 Kind Eddie will help me affirm my Trust in me and the jerk will NEVER BE MENTIONED! IT’S MY TURN TO TRUST MYSELF!

SYMPTOMS

Depressed 1

Angry 1

Stressed 8 Too much going on Will dial back

Anxious 3 Not after Art!

Not seeing or hearing voices

No new problems with relationships

Can control anger

Meds same side effects Risperdone

No racing thoughts Calm and steady

No isolation

Not applicable

Focus good

Do feel safe on my own

Do control impulses

Energy less feel tired

Meds do help

No flashbacks

No memories body trauma

Will not harm self others

Not helpless not hopeless

No negative self talk

Stay focused

Do feel safe on own

Can control impulses

Less energy tired

Meds help me

Am taking meds

Small mood swings

No nightmares

Making progress

Therapy helps

Rest ratings cut off

You are such a wonderful, big hearted and kind person Judi - I love that you are part of our group!  I will make sure to let you know when we need to move on from discussion or when we would like to hear more of what you want to share but unfortunately just cannot due to time limitations.  I believe it is very clear to everyone how much you care and I also need to be more firm about cross-talk but admittedly struggle with this as I also view you as my elder and was raised to always have respect and show that socially.  So - we are all learning and growing, all the time!  :) Have a good afternoon!  Dorothy

(BASICALLY THE THERAPIST TELLING MY MOTHER TO LET SOMEONE ELSE SPEAK DURING SESSIONS...)

I do understand as the last out patient group most of the group members were dealing depression and it was awkward to participate constructively. Thank you for a great group counselor/social worker tips to help me flow with group. Mania and manic events are like thieves of time or that’s my view. I need your guidance and not just the Stop sign technique as what was missing was the way to interact positively with Group!

Sent from my iPad

> On Jun 23, 2020, at 10:06 AM, Jennifer.M. wrote:
>
> Judi,
>
> I've noticed in class that you give feedback to the group. This is wonderful and keeps the group lively and interesting. However, due to your symptoms of mania some people might feel like their voice is not being heard. Most people are shy, dealing with anxiety, or depressed. It is very difficult for them to speak, even when it is their turn to process.
>
> I suggest you write down what you want to share. Every 4th time you want to share go ahead and say it out loud. We totally understand that mania is near impossible to "control" and impulse control is difficult. Try this technique. It will allow your thoughts to flow freely and allow the more shy members of the group more of a chance to give input. Let me know how it works out for you.
>
> Thank you for understanding and continuing with your journey of recovery. You are doing fantastic and we are very proud.
>
> -Jennifer and Dorothy
>