MY BIPOLAR MOTHER

I am the daughter of a bipolar mother. My experiences with my mother, family, and friends teach me everyone's reality is different and perception is the friend or the foe of the day. I am hoping my posts give insight to those who are curious and give comfort to those who see a parallel. I invite feedback and look forward to collaboration. It is my focus to spread joy, even on dark days. Smiles can be effortless or the workout of the day. Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

having a rough time at the retirement community

 

(change is tough especially during the Covid-19 pandemic.  Hopefully everything will improve soon and everyone can get back to normal life.)


Have new cleaner. 8th since....

Her name is Jeane & her family is from Puerto Rico. Her mother still lives there on her own & is 93. Jeane is excellent & thorough cleaner- soon go to Dining or 1st 2nd floors like others-this place is noisy chaotic not healthy & will shorten lives mine included.

Who cares-really just shove us out of sight.

I wish everyday to at least give my life to save one like in sprees gun violence. At least feel like done a good deed & be at peace ️ I want out of here so much & never be warehoused again🍀🍀🍀🍀

 

 

 

This place is such a come down & insult to all I made for myself.

Never a bed where ADVISE NO SLEEPING W TV IN SAME SPACE (recommended by competent mental health Drs -Oh but they do not count now cause in past who ADVISE NO TV in same space where I sleep) one room nothing for space, unhealthy menus & now I have constant noise barking dog all day long plus too many people jammed together. THIS IS NOT HEALTHY PLACE FOR ME!!!! & for tiny monthly fee $1870 month. I can afford better!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also those medical records so carelessly tossed contain original letters & original documentation for my early retirement-original letters & doc I present which had to do once or cut my retirement off & SSA benefits & can ask again & NOW I DO NOT HAVE THEM. Plus some sudden concern about losing a nest egg to medical bills all of a sudden that is now NOT mine like I'm some intellectually deficient dummy or handicapped in some severe way. What happens to nest egg IF one of you run up big debt??Why I am being treated like an imbecile???? That POA was strictly for if I was in a coma or brain dead-apparently I am.

Why not just finish me off in kind way instead day to day torture of living in some prison for unlucky who suffered relapse after 15 years in midst deadly Covid outbreak.

I did NOT trigger my own health emergency frivolously.

Oh barking dog again-I need relief here-NOT sunshine gifs or ignoring me or ultimatums to threaten I will be going it alone if I dare inconvenience anyone & suggest yes I can live in better place.

I will detest this place to end & know in some dysfunctional way the people in my own family compel me to live this horrid way & are OK about it.

Barking dog again & do NOT expect me to take extra meds or be Mary Sunshine to "fix" this place-I CAN ONLY PUT ME IN BETTER PLACE. What do you want-signed notarized statement that what??? I have NEVER given away cash or valuables of any great amount until I felt pushed move here & gave away my furniture, my car temporarily, my art etc-To strangers? No-to family & you witnessed that so no one boondoggled or cheated me.

As I have generously helped family I need to generously help myself OUT OF HERE SOON. This about my daily suffering & right now I have apparently NO CHOICES-that is when people give up

 







































































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