Over the weekend my mother called me 29 times, most of which I did not answer. I did have a 40 minute call with her to discuss her living situation and basically told her that this was the safest place for her to live; especially during the Covid 19 pandemic. She yelled and demanded her car; money; and for me to help her find a different facility. She also said that she is going to cancel all her Doctor's appointments!
Ever since I was a kid, I wanted ONLY the best for my mother. I know she battles this disease on a daily basis and really struggles through life. I just need her to understand that everything we do for her is for her safety. Well, the conversation escalated and my mother HUNG up on me again. I have explained that if she chooses to use me as her doormat and hangs up on me, I will choose not to answer her calls or text messages for a few days.
Here are some of her text messages for this past weekend. When I did not answer her calls, her text messages changed.
This awful place does not support health or nutrition. No more-I
cannot be warehoused like unwanted furniture. NO PRIVACY HERE! I need privacy
to live well. Light comes in all around door during night & many noises
& voices off on during day. Food is not even well balanced. There is NO
need waste money on doctor’s Appts or meds or tests. I am done. I do not
believe you want what is best for me & I am left shattered over how you
already made decisions without really working with me or caring what is best.
No more platitudes please like there are people who want eat rotten bananas. I
am done here. Either please help me out of here or your plan to warehouse me
becomes a self fulling prophecy of ill health & I do not even have a shred
of dignity left. How can you do this to me? I never ever treated you like this
-putting you somewhere that is so miserable & no decent way to live. Why? I
want out of here sooner better. Every single day here is just one more day of
poor health. I cannot do this anymore. I am guessing you will just ignore my
requests for better home like I had before & are ok I live miserably. This
place is filled with lapses & nothing for me. I am defeated here.
(here is a picture of the rotting banana that she complained about.)
Please call me later around 9
I need your help I keep trying then .... Please I try
I am so sorry it’s been so hard & rough. I did not intend any
hard times for you from the beginning to now. I have consistently given you
credit for your gifts & help. I want to keep you in my life & value you
even with hard times lately. Please give me a chance.
I am beyond sorry because I do cherish all you have done & do
& wrote that in my journal. I was not sure if you were saying I have been a
project without meaning to....please text me so we can mend this-please.
I have cared for you & tried to protect you as best as my resources let me
& wanted always to help when I was able.
Please please give me a chance
I send you my love for the most amazing person & I do treasure
you Please
Please text me
I have not cancelled any Appts PLEASE TEXT ME
I agree to all you have set up to help me and am so sorry it was
so rough. Please know I both respect and give you credit for all you’ve done
from May to now & your concern is my safety in a situation we all must
manage with people angry, tired and maybe even needing money, you wanted to
protect me & help me live safe. Please call me when you can. I do love
& respect you💜🌻💜💐
It’s been harder than I imagined to allow you to take on the role
of caretaking me & keeping me safe. I am so sorry to have such a hard
relapse & cause you such distress without you also having my cooperation in
what is safe place. Please come & visit me if you can for little while
after Thursday’s Dr’s appt. I have signed up for the snow cone & outside
drive for Friday. I am trying to live safe & work way to eat healthier w my
salads. Please give a chance. We are open for family visits & Joyce’s
daughter came to visit her.
I am so sorry & ask you please give me an opportunity to mend
what happened. I am unwell still & know that makes no difference I am
having difficulties feeling safe here in elevator & laundry area Joyce’s
daughter asked me if I was OK I told her I was going back to my room tho I did
not tell her how bad I felt over us I was trying to be private about myself
Travis sent me a video of Blu catching frisbees & thanked me
for fun $ My friend said I am still good person because I am miserable & feel
I cannot be around anyone for what happened I am losing myself & it feels
awful I wish I never had this I am someone who tries to be thoughtful when well
I tried to find the stairwell today because the elevator is
uncomfortable I only found storage & fire exit even following exit sign I
have faithfully taken my meds I feel tired & undone I am sorry for all
& that I am suffering so & causing you distress
I do not even know you will see my apology & how bad I feel
for what happened If I am undone does saying I do love you mean much or count
Just if you read this know I do care what happens for you &
want to protect you then I am unwell so I can just say I’d help you in some way
I can The good kind part of me is still worthy of helping please
Just if you read this know I do care what happens for you &
want to protect you then I am unwell so I can just say I’d help you in some way
I can The good kind part of me is still worthy of helping please
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